Long Weekend

Starring: John Hargreaves and Briony Behets
Optimum Home Entertainment
RRP: 12.99
Certificate: 15
Available 16 January 2006

Peter and Marcia are having marital problems. Marcia has just had an abortion after a relationship with another man, and Peter was drawn towards a female friend of the family. As an attempt at reconciliation they decide on a weekend away together. Marcia opts for a hotel in the urban district, but Peter arranges a camping trip to a remote beach on the coast of Australia. On the way Peter accidentally kills a kangaroo on the road with his jeep, and that's just the start of their problems. After finally setting up camp they hear strange noises at night which sound like a distressed baby. The next day Peter is called from the surf by a frantic Marcia. He kills what he thinks is a shark but turns out to be a harmless sea cow. The theft of an eagle egg, and the blatant disrespect for the environment is the last straw. Nature begins to take its revenge, and the escalating tension between Peter and Marcia is not helping...

Have you ever seen a thriller with no thrills? I have, it's called Long Weekend. It's always a good indication that a film's going to be disappointing when there's a vague quote on the packaging which says, in this case, "Hauntingly enigmatic..." "A lost cult classic..." This is nothing of the sort. In fact for the first half an hour of this Australian movie from the 1970s nothing of any interest happens at all, and I found that studying a pattern in my carpet was infinitely more appealing. Driving around in circles in a jeep, sitting in front of a campfire, and shooting a hunting rifle off repeatedly at nothing in particular... and they call this entertainment?

We do get a look at some of the beautiful wildlife of Australia, but as this is supposed to be a horror / thriller rather than Wildlife On One, frankly it's irrelevant. I'm sorry, but there's really no saving grace for this film. Even the ending can be predicted within the first 20 minutes. Apparently the writer also wrote Razorback. 'Nuff said.

Ty Power

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