Soul Survivors

Starring: Casey Affleck, Wes Bentley, Eliza Dushku and Luke Wilson
Momentum Pictures
Certificate: 15
Available now

It's off to college for sweet, young Cassie and her friends. But that innocent pursuit of away-from-home fun, the undoing of so many middle-America teens, soon ends in disaster. The drinking and driving combination proves fatal yet again and before you can say "Look out!!!" there's a car smash...

Cassie wakes up to find her boyfriend dead but the funny dreams soon start and despite pleas from her best friend, Annabel (Eliza Dushka - Buffy's Faith), to get out more the visions just keep coming back. So it's back to the Goth club where the accident happened for some bump 'n' grind hardcore music and some long, sinister shadows. Oooh, I'm scared.

For some light relief Cassie decides to repaint her flat and then daub the remains of the tin on Annabel, just for fun. Cue the shower scene with both girls washing away the surplus emulsion - fully clothed! Bad idea.

Oh yeah. watch for those visions! And let's not forget the vicar who's dead but walking around. Jump cut follows jump cut - funny camera angle follows funny camera angle - and before you can say "stop, it's hurting" the twist is revealed. The dead are living and the living are dead, or something like that.

Frankly, I'd rather be smeared in Marmite and rolled in grass cuttings than have to watch this film again. It really is that bad. and yes, before you ask, Dushka does the sassy Goth chick thing like in Buffy, but without the sharp dialogue.

Anthony Clark